Do you ever ? I mean actually take a seat and think or even reflect ?
I think taking a minute took it’s toll today.. Something so silly so minor, cramps.. Yes my stomach cramped. My immediate thought ? Is it happening again ? It’s upsetting that those kind of thoughts even sprung to mind, but in that moment they were un avoidable. Ever have those moments where you’re surrounded by tons of people, conversations going on yet you’re isolated by only your thoughts ?
Well take a minute.. And that’s what I did, excused myself and got home as fast as I could, bathed my little one, and there it was, my answer to every negative thought that I couldn’t shut out – giggling at the silliest thing, his pyjamas ! Without any control over my emotions I cried and wanted to beat myself up at the same time.. Why is it that we are so ungrateful for the things we have ? Why is it that we are so selfish that we forget that we are surrounded with love ?
I sat.. Opened up my social media accounts as per normal – there it was black and white, three boys shot dead in Gaza. There I was prepared to be a wreck if I miscarried this baby, while there they were 1, 3 and 4.. Their lives taken away from them, stolen – In that moment I looked down at my tummy and whispered, whatever you decide.. To stay or go, I will be strong. I will be strong because I am content.. I am content that we live in a safe country, I am content that I have a healthy boy, content with the spouse that I have chosen to spend the rest of my living and after life with. I am content.
So there it is.. A post as fresh as it could get.. I hope after reading this you’ll take a minute, whether it’s to look up at your toy filled house & smile as you replay the images of your child/ren attacking them during the day, or whether you stare at your partner and subconsciously smile.. Whatever it is, just look up, let it sink in – you are blessed, all that is around you is a blessing.