As I type this, I can’t help but imagine a little being kicking in my tummy. Only six weeks along I can’t help but google baby boy and girl names. I can’t help but assume that this time, everything will work out just fine.
It feels different, everything about being pregnant “this time” FEELS different.. Does that even make sense ? Oh hell I don’t know, coming from the crazy woman who imagines a baby kicking 👀 I remember it like it was yesterday.. It was almost as if I knew something wasn’t right.. There was no craving, no over sleeping, no tiredness and no sudden urge of hunger.
This time round – it’s a different ball game, I never took naps with my LO ! Even when he was a newborn, just never did.. This time round, I’ve been falling asleep even before I see his eyes close 😂.. I dream of food, wake at 4am , only for hubby to catch my head in the fridge while I desperately try not to make a sound while eating a tim tam ( truly difficult !) I feel it.. As silly as it sounds, because according to my baby app this baby is only as tiny as an “orange seed” and hasn’t even “grown it’s tail yet” 👀 I feel it 😊
Its fate, I can’t fight it – what’s meant to happen will happen. But is it wrong to think that I won’t be able to bare another miscarriage ? My mentality this time round is at a whole other level.. I don’t think I’ll be able to brush it off so easily.
I talk to him/her… Sometimes even asking it to “pray really really hard so you’ll be strong enough to meet mama, baba and your brother zayn” As stupid as that sounds, it makes all the sense in the world to me 😌
As for now, I need to remain patient.. Dating scan in about three weeks – if anything I think I’ll become even more crazy, who knows I might even name my little orange seed 😭 I thank you all for your support trough this journey. As I’ve acknowledged before, this blog has become my diary and you all are my inspiration.
P.s You all know me & my humour 🙈