For those of you who have read through some of my posts.. I opened up previously about my Husband and I wanting to having another child. With the power and will of God, I have been blessed with a third pregnancy ( following my first miscarriage after LO ).
I couldn’t help myself, I think ran through two boxes of the ‘3 packet’ pregnancy test kits ☺️, just had to make sure the two lines were on all six of them 😂. Off to my local GP I went today, conducted a urine test again just to double confirm and a blood test ( hate those things ). Hopefully all is well when those results get back but for now I feel like my emotions are on hold…
Is that normal ? Everything that I’ve ever wanted has happened, yet I feel like I’m not allowed to be happy yet. I’ve read that it’s common amongst women that have miscarried before to feel no excitement till they pass the 12 week ‘safe zone’ – but I don’t understand why I’m not able to embrace the fact that it’s happened and jump for joy !
I mentioned earlier the roller-coaster of emotions and thoughts I had around the planning of a second pregnancy – I’m proud to say I’m not embarrassed to mention my pregnancy in front of anyone.. Maybe a little too confident. The other day I was at woolies, the checkout chick as per normal asked “so how are you today ?” “I’m pregnant” I blurted 😭. Hubby couldn’t control his laughter when I told him, but I saw that gleam in his eyes, he didn’t have to tell me but I knew he was proud of me, proud of the progress I made.
Yes I’m still in fear, fear of the unknown and to be honest it scares me to pieces, but isn’t that life ? It’s full of the unknown.. I can’t stop praying that this little miracle in my tummy stays in there till I can see him/ her in 8 months time – considering the fact though “you can’t fight fate”. What’s meant to happen will happen, whatever the outcome is I know that I am loved and supported and in the end I guess that’s all that really matters.
So there you have it – although I haven’t replied to all your well wishes and inspirational stories, just know you all are what keeps me going.. In a way this blog has become my journal – except in this magical world, my words speak back !
P.S. It’s nice to remind myself how lucky I really am, with my LO keeping me on my toes all day, it’s pretty hard not to be grateful 💚