So I’ve been chatting about this with a lot of people that I’ve come across especially when meeting them for the first time. They want to know all about your life, as you would with any stranger that strikes to have a great personality. The questions start rolling like; “How old were you when you got married?” ” How old is your hubby ?” and then ” Oh have you got your own house ?”… HMMM
First about me..
Hubby and I got engaged in April of 2011, he had a stable job but was on a wage just like any average person out there. One thing I loved about him was he was a man full of conditions ( I type this smiling )..
One: ‘ You will not work if you don’t want to and I promise I will try my hardest so that there wont come a day where I tell you, you have to ‘
Two: ‘ You wake up with me for breakfast before work ( 5.30am ) because seeing your face first thing in the morning will make my whole day that much easier ‘
Three: ‘ I will never question a dollar that is spent, I know the woman I am marrying and you understand how hard I work to provide and support the both of us ‘
So there they were, his conditions in black and white, at first I couldn’t help but laugh my brains out ! Was he serious ? Did he just give me the 1950’s ideal manual for the perfect “housewife” ? Following a lot of reading and re reading I agreed, but only once I clarified a couple of things ☺️
One: ‘ I will work if I WANT to ‘
Two: ‘ I will wake up with you because I understand I won’t be seeing you all day ‘
Three: ‘ Yes I comprehend but I will feel better knowing that you know ‘
So that was it, we were ready to get married and live happily ever after ! REEEEEMMMMMIIIIXXXXXX
Four: ‘ We will have to live behind my sister’s home for at least 4 years just so we can stand up on our feet and get our own home ‘
HUUUUH ( insert mini heart attack )
I mean yes I met his sister, but there’s a difference between conversing with someone and living behind them. I questioned everything from the future of our living status to our relationship. It took long nights of deliberation with my Mama Bear.. I was scared.. “Scared of what?” She asked “I don’t want my life to be like the horror stories I hear of others living behind their inlaws”.. And so calmly she replied ” Its all in your hands”. That was it, plain and simple. I would later understand what her answer meant.
Reality never hit till the plans went under action.. I was surprised at the generosity of space that we’d have. ” Three Bedrooms, Two bathrooms – it will be great” I repeated over and over (looking back now I think it was an effort to convince myself).
Thankfully my sister inlaw R was so understanding and surprisingly just as anxious and nervous as me. I think secretly she was more worried than I was 🙈. We had long conversations while our home was being built in her back yard about how she was a very private person, and that some people may get offended that she doesn’t like to interact with others as much. All I could think of was “FEW”.
Two and a half years later and I couldn’t be happier! Happy at the fact that we have this fortunate opportunity to live like this, to save and set ourselves up for future investments. And the fact that I can count on someone to give me tomatoes when I’m half way through the salad only to realise I’ve run out is always a bonus ! 😁
Point of this post is: No matter what your circumstance is – It’s all in your hands. You make whatever life throws at you as easy as you want or as hard as you want. You can choose to look at the Cons of every situation or to focus on the Pros.