No heaven couldn’t wait for you

Heaven couldn’t wait for you … Go on, go home

My love , I never had the chance to cradle you in my arms, never had the chance to smell you, never had the chance to look into your eyes and tell you how much I love you.

I miscarried my little angel on the 10th of September 2013 at 9 weeks. I am a believer in fate.. You can runaway from something you never want to happen but it will catch up with you if it’s meant to.

It was hard, it took a lot of faith to stop the tears from overflowing. The experience I went through is something I wouldn’t wish for anyone even my worst enemy.

This post is dedicated to the beautiful mum who emailed me, I cried with you, you kept repeating the same line “I know you won’t be able to relate, but why do I feel like this?” I can relate I was there, staring helplessly at my bloodtest results confirming that I no longer had my little baby. This post isn’t to reminisce, it’s to remind those mamas who have miscarried.. Don’t be scared to remember the time you lost your angel, infact it helps much more than you think..

To the beautiful mothers that have miscarried…
Does the pain get easier ? Yes
Will you forget ? Never
Take each day as it comes, religion is the only thing that kept me sane. No reason to question why why why me ? There’s a bigger plan that we had in mind.. It comforts me to think that God knew that my little one didn’t have the strength to carry on in my tummy, and god decided it be easier to live alongside his angels.

To those mamas who have had friends, family who have miscarried. Be there for them.. Remember though they might tell you everything’s okay, all they’ll maybe need is a hug, a long warm hug, a hug they never got to give their little one.

Till we meet again 💚

Yours truly

Your mama xx

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Your life is NOT over

Read it how you see it because that’s the truth. People ( I mean childless people ) automatically assume that once a person has a child or children that their capability of carrying a conversation with people has vanished.

To those mamas expecting:

You and only YOU determine the turn your life will take after have your child. Having a baby does not hold you back from exploring the world, it may mean knowing every type of baby product on the market but it won’t mean forgetting the way to your favourite desert place.

Surround yourself with friends that are supportive of your journey and respect the fact that your life style is about to change dramatically. You most probably will always talk about your baby.. I know I know I said it too before I had my LO “I’ll never be that mum”.. Accept it, aslong as your circle consists of people excited for your journey into motherhood then that’s all that really matters and in time you’ll notice that you yourself have changed in ways.

To my lovely mamas’

I get it we all have that guilty feeling if we leave our little ones and enjoy ourselves for a couple of hours. Whether it be getting the regrowth sorted or having a coffee by the beach, take a breather you deserve it. Something that works for me, I plan those times around my LO’s nap times. For some odd reason I feel a little less guilty when I do this, knowing he’s asleep and not looking around for me helps a lot. That way he’s comfortable and so am I.

So my conclusion is plan a movie night/lunch date, either with your partner or friends, settle your LO to bed or have someone mind them while they’re asleep.. You’ll feel great knowing you’ve met their needs now you’re meeting yours.

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The quote above makes all the sense in the world, happy you equals happy mum !

Yours truly

Momma_z

I’m okay (:

It’s okay.. It’s okay to feel a little skitso here and there, it’s okay to let out a sigh when nobody’s looking, it’s okay to fall asleep in the shower, it’s okay to drink your coffee cold… ALL THE TIME, it’s okay to leave the washing on the line for two days.. ITS OKAY.

For mamas to be, please don’t think going into motherhood is going to be as glorious and full of daisies as it’s made out on the big screen. Your hair will be in a mess, you wouldn’t have taken a look in the mirror for a week you probably won’t be able to recall the last time you slept for longer than an hour… BUT ITS OKAY!! You holding that little baby, that creation that was rolling around for months in your tummy, that will make it all worth it.

So here it is… Some little personal advice my darlings,keep in mind all mothers experiences are different. However from the group of strangers I interviewed on a forum they were all pretty much on the same page (:

I had someone visit a month after I had my LO and they said “it’s just the first three months” as they were walking out.. I didn’t really understand what they meant until now, as I reflect back.

What to expect

First Month: You’ll be exhausted because all you’ll do is watch your baby sleeping all day, only to be woken up every two hours at night.

Second Month: You’ll be making multiple visits to the doctors over the smallest of things, but you won’t feel relaxed until you go.

Third Month: You would have had your fair share of ‘crying by myself on the kitchen floor’ moments, that you pick yourself up and mother on !!

Fourth Month: ?? Truth is by then your body has physically and mentally adapted to the drastic change your life has taken. You see that’s all it really is.. Change! It’s something new, something we have never experienced before. We as women were built to be able to not only handle but master the art of motherhood. By the fourth month you would’ve only been on 4 hours sleep but you’ll be dancing around the house ! You’ll be content, you’ll be confident, you’ll be one hell of a mama !

Point is; stop, relax and remember you’re writing your own story.

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( Just for laughs 😛 )

Yours Truly

Momma_z